What Fry's formula comes down to is how negatively a husband and wife perceive each other.
"In relationships where both partners consider themselves as happy, bad behavior is dismissed as unusual," says Fry.
"In negative relationships, however, the situation is reversed. Bad behavior is considered the norm."
Basically, healthy relationships are optimistic; if a couple argues, they assume they did it because they had an off day. In negative relationships, people just assume their partner is mean or selfish.
Fry's formula takes mood, expectations, and
influence on each other into account. She says the healthiest
relationships are one with a high "negativity threshold," where couples
are allowed to complain and voice their concerns without getting mad at
each other. Then they're able to work together to fix these concerns.
Basically,
successful relationships are ones where couples give each other the
benefit of the doubt and work together.
Relationships that are less
likely to last are ones where couples get so fed up with each other
during an argument that they don't bother talking it out.
"Mathematics leaves us with a positive message for our relationships,"
Fry says, "reinforcing the age-old wisdom that you really shouldn't let
the sun go down on your anger."
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