There
are so many ways for us to describe sex: exciting, thrilling,
empowering, spine-tingling, sexy — notice how we didn't mention
"painful" or "stinging." You get the point. Sex should always feel
pleasurable.
But if
you're experiencing discomfort in your nether regions, abandon ship
until you figure out what is going on down there. To suss out your
potential hangups, we spoke to sexologist Yvonne K. Fulbright, Ph.D.,
and Mary Jane Minkin, M.D. (and author of A Woman's Guide to Sexual Health) to save your vagina and your sex life. Here, all your problems explained — and how to fix them.
You're not lubricated enough.
Even
though your vagina is a natural self-lubricator, if you're not turned
on enough or boozed too much at the bar, you could suffer from dryness.
Just use lube.
You're allergic to your sex toys or products.
While
we're on the topic, you can't just go to the drugstore and buy the
cheapest thing on the shelf. Lubricants are made with different
chemicals, which can throw off your vagina's pH balance — the same goes
for products like latex condoms. If you feel any sort of irritation
after use, try to stick to natural-based stuff and see how that fares with your body.
You're using the wrong positions.
It's
always good to experiment and deviate from your go-to routine, but
certain positions might not be for everyone. Keep in mind that a guy's
curvature can make your go-to moves feel a little off from time to time.
You have a sexual dysfunction.
Yes, though it's not often talked about, some women experience a disorder known as vaginismus
— where the vaginal muscles involuntarily spasm during sex and make
penetration painful. Shooting pain during sex can also be attributed to
hyperactive nerve fibers around the vulva, aka vulvodynia. Thankfully, there's good therapy available for both, through the use of dilators or pain-blocking medications.
Your partner is too big.
No guy is ever too large to wear a condom. Period. But when it comes to penetration,
you may need to be "loosened" up by trying simple sex moves first —
think missionary — or turning yourself on more (hello, foreplay!).
You just gave birth.
First
off, if your libido can bounce back right away after childbirth, go
you. But caution: Since your vagina just underwent major trauma it'll
take your body some time to get back to its former glory. Some doctors
suggest a four to six week window after childbirth as a good time frame
to get your groove back, but it all depends on your body.
You have an STD/STI/pelvic disease.
Yeast infections are no fun. Fibroids on your uterus and pelvic inflammatory disease
are also no fun. Know who you're sleeping with and get tested regularly
if you're not in a monogamous relationship, but also take comfort in
knowing there are plenty of oral and vaginal medications that can treat
those. Also, be sure to visit your gynecologist regularly for check ups.
You haven't had sex in a long time.
Sex
slump, dry spell, whatever you want to call it, the struggle's real.
We're not saying you should jot down sex in your weekly planner, but
just know it's totally normal for it to hurt if you haven't done it for a long time.
You jump right into sex.
Forget every Fifty Shades of Grey sex
scene you've seen. Diving head first (interpret as you wish) into sex
can create unnecessary friction between your vagina and his manhood.
Take a cue from a wise tortoise: Slow and steady wins the race.
From:
Marie Claire
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